Abstinence from a Christian Perspective

Teaching abstinence is something most people really fail at. They overestimate how much respect teenagers give adults who spew unsupported facts at them, they underestimate just how hard it is to work against their biological clocks and they seem to think talking down to people works. Abstinence only education just flat out doesn't work. It leaves kids vulnerable to ruining their entire lives over one stupid mistake.

As Christians, we should recognize that humans are sinful. We don't listen. So when it comes to our kids, we should teach them about things like condoms and birth control pills, and should encourage them to seek adoption should those fail and they get pregnant. But most of all,  we should tell them that abstinence is not only more effective, it's also what God wants for us.

But why is it? What's so special about sex that we should save it for our spouse?

Well, in the times before marriage ceremonies and vows, sex and marriage were one and the same. When you had sex, you were married. To prove it you showed off the bloodstained blankets after having sex. Virginity was important, and this hasn't changed. When you have sex, you're doing more than just procreating or having a good time. Sex is a spiritual act. It is the bonding of two bodies and two spirits into one. It is a sacred act, something God created specially for us. When God made Eve, he created her from Adam's rib. When we have sex, it is the act of these two bodies rejoining in to one.

Don't get me wrong, abstinence is hard, especially in this culture we've built up where sex becomes a rite of passage, something we do to prove we're adults. This simply isn't true, but rites of passage are important. It's a way for them to prove themselves to their peers and their families. As Christians, once your kid has finished Confirmation, you should start treating them like an adult. In the eyes of the Church, confirmation and it's equivalents are the rite of passage. If you don't treat your kids like adults, they'll find a way to get that respect from their peers, and everything around them is telling them sex is the way to do this.

That said, make sure your kids know about contraceptives. People make mistakes, we're sinful beings and we slip and fall. Make sure you're there to catch them and set them on the right path. Teaching abstinence only isn't going to make them less likely to have sex, it just makes them less likely to use protection.